Sex For Widows

Sex with Dead Husband?

»Posted on Mar 26, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sex For Widows, Sudden Death | 0 comments

  A friend of mine recently asked me, “Do you ever have sex with Evan and imagine, just for a moment, that you’re having sex with Erik instead?” Normal thing to wonder about a remarried widow, I suppose. Actually, I love that she asked me this. But the answer is NO. Never have I imagined, in the heat of passion, that Evan was Erik. I did, however, imagine that other men I dated were Erik. Of course I wanted them to be Erik. When you watch your 29-year-old husband slide down the kitchen counter and die, there is a certain amount of denial that comes along with the territory. Like staring at the door. Waiting for the knob to turn. Erik, you home? Nope. Not home. Or completely vacating your pregnant body because you cannot believe that you...

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Sexual Tension Grows Between Ex-lovers

»Posted on Dec 5, 2009 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sex For Widows | 0 comments

Erik folded his hands beneath his black sweater, his thumbs fidgeting with the wool. “I know we’ re supposed to go to dinner,” he said, “But I don’t know if I can even eat right now.” I laughed. “What? Am I making you sick?” “No, no, not at all, it’s that . . . it’s just a lot, being with you.” Our break-up three years ago was the farthest thing from civil, and I knew, after not seeing eachother for all of that time, we were both uncertain of what we should do with the palpable sexual tension that now filled the two-foot gap between us on the couch. “I was just teasing. I know exactly what you mean. I didn’t think I would be so happy to be with you. Oh, wait, that came out...

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Death Caused by Thoughts?

»Posted on Sep 15, 2009 in BLOG, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss, Sex For Widows, Sudden Death | 0 comments

I folded our warm white towels while Tatiana, only twelve months old then, napped in her bedroom. Erik and I had been married just over two years and, already, I was four months pregnant with our second daughter, Keira. Erik and I both felt the same intense love for Tatiana and were excited to have another baby right away. But there was no excitement in the house that day. The house was quiet, except for the annoyed thoughts I could hear myself thinking about Erik. Sick of his crap. We had not been speaking to each other for hours. I stacked the towels neatly into the closet, passing Erik in the hall. I did not look at his brown eyes or admire his thick black hair. Instead, I grabbed a new set of sheets and I walked away from him, into our bedroom. Erik...

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Erik Grieve’s Easter Sunday Request

»Posted on Aug 31, 2009 in BLOG, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss, Sex For Widows | 0 comments

I admired Erik in the shower that Easter Sunday morning. Salt and pepper hair. Deep brown eyes. Broad masculine shoulders covered by smooth olive skin. Steam had filled the bathroom, like the fog that frequently hovered over the Golden Gate Bridge. I could only see parts of his body through the hazy, glass shower doors. He sat against the corner of the tub, as he always did, carefully scraping the skin off of his well-manicured feet. I pulled out an assortment of maternity clothes from the closet and set them on the bathroom counter. Knowing we’d be taking tons of family photos during Tatiana’s first real Easter egg hunt, I wanted to look better than I felt at seven months pregnant. “Ugh!” I groaned. Erik turned off the shower, dried himself,...

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