DROP DEAD LIFE by Hyla Molander

A Pregnant Widow's Heartfelt And Often Comic Memoir About Death, Birth, And Rebirth

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Drop Dead Life on Kickstarter

Posted by on Aug 8, 2013 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Featured, Memoir Excerpts, Parenting & Loss, Publicity, & Interviews, Sudden Death | 0 comments

For the past ten years, I have been advocating for widows, women, defibrillators in schools, and a treatment for Brugada Syndrome—the sudden death cardiac condition both of my daughters, unfortunately, inherited from from my late husband, Erik. And now, I am reaching out for help to reach 100% of my Kickstarter funding goal by 8/19 so that I can publish my forthcoming memoir, Drop Dead Life: A Pregnant Widow’s Heartfelt and Often Comic Journey about Death, Birth, and Rebirth. This is more than a story about widowhood. Drop Dead Life dives...

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Hyla Molander in The Mama Monologues

Posted by on Dec 21, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Live Events & Appearances, Publicity, & Interviews, Sudden Death | 0 comments

Last month, I had the honor of reading in “The Mama Monologues” at Corte Madera Book Passage, along with NY Times best-selling author Kelly Corrigan and many other talented Writing Mamas. Special thanks to Dawn Yun, founder of The Writing Mamas, for making this laughter and tear-filled event possible. We raised over $5,000 for Abelina Magana, a Northern California mother of three who was shot 15 times and lived to tell. If you would like to make a contribution to Abelina and her children, all of whom are still very much in need...

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The Father’s Day Timepiece

Posted by on Jun 16, 2010 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sudden Death | 0 comments

On Father’s Day, I hold the wristwatch—a stainless steel Bell & Ross—and notice the delayed clicks of the white second hand. My thumb moves in circular motions across the waterproof glass. I’m surprised by its weight. Erik, my 29-year-old husband, pleaded with me for this expensive watch, but I said, “You know we can’t afford that right now.” We were saving money to buy our first house in over-priced Marin County, California. “Hyla, he’s going to give it to me for one-third the cost.” Oh, Erik. “Why do I...

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Embracing Children’s Psychotherapy

Posted by on May 31, 2010 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss | 0 comments

  Keira, my five-year-old daughter, whined, “I don’t want to talk to anyone,” from under her purple, fuzzy blanket. She did not want start going to therapy. She had recently returned from school one too many times, saying “nobody likes me,” or “I’m not smart,” or “nobody wants to be my friend.” But that was as far as the conversation ever went. She really didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not even me. I pulled the covers back, exposing her angry, brown eyes. “That’s just it,...

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Order Up! Single-Parents Dating Online

Posted by on May 15, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, DROP DEAD LIFE | 0 comments

Match.com. E-Harmony. Yahoo Personals. J-Date. Yup, I signed up for them all. I was a mama on a mission to find love online. More sites, more options. I had tried the club scene. Blaring music. Dim lights. Too much booze. “Nice toes,” one guy had said, looking first at my feet and then straight at my chest. Tall, dressed in black slacks, button-down blue shirt, full head of blonde hair. He certainly was attractive. But way too young and way too interested in my breasts. Tall, dressed in black slacks, button-down blue shirt, full head of...

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Defibrillator, Death, and Denial

Posted by on May 8, 2010 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sudden Death | 0 comments

For three hours, the grasshopper-like chirps call out from the defibrillator. Three hours. This entire time, I continue to write sections of my memoir, Drop Dead Life, trying to pretend the beeping isn’t there. If the beeping is there, that means we really own a defibrillator. That means I actually need to be ready to pull out the child-sized paddles and jump-start my daughters’ hearts. It’s been a rough few weeks. We just visited the pediatric cardiologist at the Oakland Children’s Hospital and this was the first year in which my...

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Grieving Daddy’s Death

Posted by on Apr 20, 2010 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss | 0 comments

Tatiana, my eight-year-old daughter, begins to cry. “Mom-my! I’m not talking to you. You are making me so sad.” Her curly blonde hair flies everywhere, as if being blown by a fan. She stomps into the bathroom, slams the door, and locks herself in. All morning, Tatiana has not been listening, and I’m fed up with having to repeat my words six times just to be heard. Deep breath, I tell myself. I call through the bathroom door, “Honey, come out here.” To my surprise, she twists the knob right away, but her sobs...

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Easter’s Death Springs Renewal

Posted by on Apr 2, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, DROP DEAD LIFE | 0 comments

    My dad is Lutheran, my mom is Jewish. My childhood exposed me to traditions from both denominations, but I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as religious. Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. In fact, if there is a god, I’m still pretty pissed off at him. Today, though, I can’t help but contemplate the religious meaning in both Easter and Passover. Seven years ago, on Easter Sunday, my husband, Erik, and I admired our 17-month-old daughter, Tatiana, as she carefully grasped purple and pink polka-dotted eggs in the...

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Sex with Dead Husband?

Posted by on Mar 26, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sex For Widows, Sudden Death | 0 comments

  A friend of mine recently asked me, “Do you ever have sex with Evan and imagine, just for a moment, that you’re having sex with Erik instead?” Normal thing to wonder about a remarried widow, I suppose. Actually, I love that she asked me this. But the answer is NO. Never have I imagined, in the heat of passion, that Evan was Erik. I did, however, imagine that other men I dated were Erik. Of course I wanted them to be Erik. When you watch your 29-year-old husband slide down the kitchen counter and die, there is a...

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Mommy Guilt: Widowed or Not

Posted by on Mar 2, 2010 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss | 0 comments

Guilt. Mommy guilt. Daddy died guilt. Always the guilt. Each morning, at 6 AM, Julian, 2, calls out, “Ma Ma. Ma Ma? Ma Ma,” and the race begins. Ugh! I shouldn’t have stayed up so late. Four kids, like newly hatched spiders, crawl up my skin. They nip at my arms, my shoulders, my feet, and I want to flick them off. I want five minutes, just five freaking minutes, to make my coffee, before I get them ready for school. “Clothes on, hair brushed, then come to the table for breakfast,” I command, but they continue...

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