Posts Tagged "confronting pain"

Confronting the Lion (Prologue)

»Posted on Aug 23, 2009 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Memoir Excerpts | 0 comments

Have yet to figure out the descent from these mountains I have climbed. Two butterflies, burnt orange in shade, dance frantically around me, only an inch away from each other. Bells in the distance, buoys navigate the way, and the fog horn blows on this clear sun-filled day. There are no whales to be seen down below. No seals doing somersaults. No deer hopping their way through the golden summer bushes. I turn off my music so that I may hear the mountain lion preying on me for her morning feast. I figure if she eats me, it was meant to be my day. Beneath my breasts is now a belly which is softer than it was—a capsule recycling souls who have been here before. The power of this womb. What meaning lies ahead for this heart I will reveal one day? A grand ...

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Pushing Through Grief

»Posted on Apr 28, 2009 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, DROP DEAD LIFE | 0 comments

How did the happiest day turn out to be the saddest day? How do I go there? How do I tell my story—our story—when I must feel so much pain to tell it completely? Sitting still long enough to write about it means acknowledging the ache, the low-grade hum of this relentless grief. It is a hurt I have never known. Yet how do I describe such pain without describing the happiness? Without that happiness, I would be left with nothing. I moved the girls to Florida, to be closer to my family. This house is mine, I think. This skin holds my body, but this body does not feel mine. To feel my body, this house, would be to feel reality and, this, I am afraid to do. Today, for the first time, I woke up looking for Erik next to me in my bed and, of course, he wasn’t...

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