Posts Tagged "meaning in tragedy"

Hyla Molander in The Mama Monologues

»Posted on Dec 21, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Live Events & Appearances, Publicity, & Interviews, Sudden Death | 0 comments

Last month, I had the honor of reading in “The Mama Monologues” at Corte Madera Book Passage, along with NY Times best-selling author Kelly Corrigan and many other talented Writing Mamas. Special thanks to Dawn Yun, founder of The Writing Mamas, for making this laughter and tear-filled event possible. We raised over $5,000 for Abelina Magana, a Northern California mother of three who was shot 15 times and lived to tell. If you would like to make a contribution to Abelina and her children, all of whom are still very much in need of our help, please send a check to: Attn: The Magana Family Fund, Bank of Marin, 1450 Grant Avenue, Novato, 94945. Please enjoy this video of my piece, “You Think You Know,” which I hope will remind you to embrace...

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Sex with Dead Husband?

»Posted on Mar 26, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sex For Widows, Sudden Death | 0 comments

  A friend of mine recently asked me, “Do you ever have sex with Evan and imagine, just for a moment, that you’re having sex with Erik instead?” Normal thing to wonder about a remarried widow, I suppose. Actually, I love that she asked me this. But the answer is NO. Never have I imagined, in the heat of passion, that Evan was Erik. I did, however, imagine that other men I dated were Erik. Of course I wanted them to be Erik. When you watch your 29-year-old husband slide down the kitchen counter and die, there is a certain amount of denial that comes along with the territory. Like staring at the door. Waiting for the knob to turn. Erik, you home? Nope. Not home. Or completely vacating your pregnant body because you cannot believe that you...

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Southern California Writers’ Conference

»Posted on Feb 23, 2010 in BLOG, Live Events & Appearances | 0 comments

The red taxi drove away, leaving me there, alone, for three days of writing, lectures, read-and-critique workshops, author panels, editor insights, networking, and the nerve-wracking one-on-ones with literary agents. Already, I wanted to board the plane back to San Francisco. Only days before, my memoir, DROP DEAD LIFE, a pregnant widow’s poignant, heartfelt, and often comic journey through death, birth, and rebirth, had been rejected, via email, by yet another literary agent. Like most rejections, there wasn’t much commentary on the actual writing, but I conjured up plenty of imaginary bashing on my own. Not feeling very poignant or comic, I dragged my horse-sized brown suitcase up to the hotel lobby check-in and gave my name. The front desk manager...

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11-Year-Old Boy Tries to Save his Father

»Posted on Oct 12, 2009 in BLOG, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss, Sudden Death | 0 comments

Erik told me about his dad, Hayden, when we first started dating. We were both 20, both students at Florida State University. Erik majored in computer science while I studied creative writing. Within days of knowing one another, it was obvious that Erik’s rational, organized side would compliment the artist in me. Erik spoke slowly, with quiet intensity. “We were on vacation.” I sat cross-legged, on Erik’s bedroom floor, soaking in the masculine whisper of his words. My attention was focused entirely on him. He stretched out on his back and put his head in my lap, his eyes directed at the circulating ceiling fan. “We were on vacation, at the beach . . . I was eleven. It was just me, my mom, and my dad. My dad had brought me out...

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Father and Son’s Ashes Scattered Together

»Posted on Sep 29, 2009 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, DROP DEAD LIFE, Parenting & Loss | 0 comments

I give Troy the burgundy velvet bag that contains Erik’s ashes. “Do you mind holding them? I may need to run down to the beach by myself.” “I’ll put them in my back pack.” Troy rests the gray sack by his feet and slides the ashes in. He starts to zip up the backpack, but pauses. “Jeanette, I might be able to fit yours in, too.” Jeanette hugs her pine box closer to her chest. “No, I want to hold him. Hayden’s fine right here.” My mother-in-law, Jeanette, has held on to her husband’s ashes for 17 years now. When we talked about scattering Erik’s ashes, she said, “We’ll scatter them together. It’s never felt right to do it before, but it feels right now. Erik can be with his daddy. They can...

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