Posts Tagged "widowed"

Hyla Molander in The Mama Monologues

»Posted on Dec 21, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Live Events & Appearances, Publicity, & Interviews, Sudden Death | 0 comments

Last month, I had the honor of reading in “The Mama Monologues” at Corte Madera Book Passage, along with NY Times best-selling author Kelly Corrigan and many other talented Writing Mamas. Special thanks to Dawn Yun, founder of The Writing Mamas, for making this laughter and tear-filled event possible. We raised over $5,000 for Abelina Magana, a Northern California mother of three who was shot 15 times and lived to tell. If you would like to make a contribution to Abelina and her children, all of whom are still very much in need of our help, please send a check to: Attn: The Magana Family Fund, Bank of Marin, 1450 Grant Avenue, Novato, 94945. Please enjoy this video of my piece, “You Think You Know,” which I hope will remind you to embrace...

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The Father’s Day Timepiece

»Posted on Jun 16, 2010 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sudden Death | 0 comments

On Father’s Day, I hold the wristwatch—a stainless steel Bell & Ross—and notice the delayed clicks of the white second hand. My thumb moves in circular motions across the waterproof glass. I’m surprised by its weight. Erik, my 29-year-old husband, pleaded with me for this expensive watch, but I said, “You know we can’t afford that right now.” We were saving money to buy our first house in over-priced Marin County, California. “Hyla, he’s going to give it to me for one-third the cost.” Oh, Erik. “Why do I have to be the one who has to say no?” Erik put me in charge of our finances after he’d accepted that his impetuous spending habits weren’t helping us save. We were newly pregnant with our second daughter, and...

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Easter’s Death Springs Renewal

»Posted on Apr 2, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, DROP DEAD LIFE | 0 comments

    My dad is Lutheran, my mom is Jewish. My childhood exposed me to traditions from both denominations, but I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as religious. Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. In fact, if there is a god, I’m still pretty pissed off at him. Today, though, I can’t help but contemplate the religious meaning in both Easter and Passover. Seven years ago, on Easter Sunday, my husband, Erik, and I admired our 17-month-old daughter, Tatiana, as she carefully grasped purple and pink polka-dotted eggs in the grass. “Do you think about how lucky we are,” I said to Erik. He rubbed my ripe, pregnant belly. “Yeah, I think about it at least five times a day.” Erik was a rising-star manager for Lucas Digital and I had...

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Sex with Dead Husband?

»Posted on Mar 26, 2010 in BLOG, Dating For Widows, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sex For Widows, Sudden Death | 0 comments

  A friend of mine recently asked me, “Do you ever have sex with Evan and imagine, just for a moment, that you’re having sex with Erik instead?” Normal thing to wonder about a remarried widow, I suppose. Actually, I love that she asked me this. But the answer is NO. Never have I imagined, in the heat of passion, that Evan was Erik. I did, however, imagine that other men I dated were Erik. Of course I wanted them to be Erik. When you watch your 29-year-old husband slide down the kitchen counter and die, there is a certain amount of denial that comes along with the territory. Like staring at the door. Waiting for the knob to turn. Erik, you home? Nope. Not home. Or completely vacating your pregnant body because you cannot believe that you...

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God Inflicts Anger

»Posted on Nov 25, 2009 in BLOG, Coping With Loss, Death Of Spouse, DROP DEAD LIFE, Sudden Death | 0 comments

I walk out of the closet, my arms full of Erik’s shirts, all still on hangers. My 8-month-pregnant belly acts as a shelf, enabling me to carry more. “I hope you’re alright with this,” I say to my brother, Troy. “That you don’t think it’s weird I’m giving you Erik’s stuff.” I pile the shirts on top of my bed, the white plastic hangers clinking together like falling dominoes. “No, I don’t think it’s weird, as long as you’re fine, as long as you feel ready,” Troy holds up a navy blue button-down. “This one will definitely fit.” “Erik would be really happy you had these, I’m sure of it.” It hasn’t even been three weeks since the blood trickled down the side of my husband’s mouth...

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